It has been two months since the prom. I finished all my exams and was waiting for the results. I need not mention how difficult these days had been for every one has experienced the long nights beside an old book, nights that are rarely intruded by sleep except for quick dozes that our bodies offer but our minds reject halfheartedly.

I have lost some weight not much but noticeable, a thing that made my mother very happy. She started buying clothes that were a size smaller than mine claiming that I would soon fit into them. I believe that she thought that I was on some sort of a diet. Since I rarely eat at home, she had no idea what and how much I ate. During this phase I said nothing for she would never listen to me. I mean truly listen to me. And besides, I had no idea for the sudden loss of weight.

Through those days I have seen Justin almost regularly apart from the two weeks of exams. He, too, needed to study. He was on his last year and had to work twice as hard. He was studying to become a pharmacist. He tried to explain it to me once and I told him to save himself the trouble for I sucked in chemistry. He laughed and said that he did not study chemistry only but a lot of things as doctors do. To tell the truth I was impressed. I thought that it was easy to study his major but I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

We met on the evening when I finish from my work shifts if I had ones that day. I worked four days a week and each shift was for three hours. Sometimes, he would come with his brother and wait for me till I finish. Then, we would go to see a movie. On other times, I see him on my way back home. We would just talk about everything and anything.

As it happened, I did not have a chance to introduce him to my gang. I honestly meant to join them together but things happened then there were exams… etc. All in all, I couldn’t make time for the event. Matchmaking is not an easy business if you wanted to go about it casually to make people believe it was pure fate and not on purpose. For people in love or at least believe that they are in love, fate is an important thing.

I did not believe in love but I believed that people believed in it, young people that is. Grown ups had been there and done that and discovered it is only an elusion. I, on the other hand, did not believe in it for an entirely different reason. Love is not logical! If you see some one and was attracted to him/her, it does not mean that it is love! It is sexual attraction but people do not want to sound so animalistic so they called it love. And I was smarter than to believe in it! I am better than my peers!

I have always thought of my self as strong mentally as well as physically. I never was sick enough to miss a day at school or college. I would go even if I had a fever! Pure nerd I know. But I liked to believe that I could conquer things people cannot. That I had a special force of some kind that kept me going until my day comes.

My belief ended two days ago. I had been down with fever. I was so sick I could not move about or go to college. I had no appetite for food and the little I ate, I soon vomited it. I had not got out of my bed for the whole day. I could not. I was too tired. I could not watch TV or read anything for my eyes were as tired as the rest of me. I slept throughout the day.

My room had the tang of hospitals with the fading mixed stench of vomit and medicine. It was dark with only the window as the sole source of light. I felt vulnerable and helpless. As I drifted into troubled sleep I had visions of me when I was young. I had been a sick kid throughout my childhood. My mom was always there when I was sick. She would be by my side when I burned with fever to put cool wet cloth on my hot limps. I have spent a lot of time in hospitals that I no longer feared needles.

When I was in kindergarten, I pretended sickness to stay home that day. My mother looked skeptically at me but allowed me to have the day off. A week later, a week in which I skipped studying, I had an operation to extract my amygdales that were causing my continuous health problems. I somehow put one and one together and figured out that pretending to be sick will make you sick. Of course, now I know that it is not true and that the operation was scheduled two months before but I got used to fake strength and not admitting any kind illness so long that it became a part of my character. I would not even take aspirin for headaches or cramps. Who needs aspirin? I am not sick!

Thus, you can imagine how devastated I was. I did not want to go to a doctor. Only sick people go. I am FINE! So, the doctor came to me instead. And I did not have enough power to object. The old man asked me politely to take off my shirt. He did not really look at me. I guess he was so used to seeing people like this but it did not make it any easier on me. I was embarrassed to have a complete stranger look at me even if it was for a health reason. I looked the other side and waited for him to finish as if not looking at him would make him disappear.

He told me that I should eat properly. My body was defenseless against any disease if I kept on my diet. Then said something about the fat phobia girls have and that they starve them selves and the rest to me was like blah blah blah. I was too weak to listen to him telling me things that don’t apply on me. I was not afraid of being fat. I have been fat all my life! I just did not want to eat. Food was not as important as it once was. After a while the doctor stopped, then turned and told my mom to buy some medicine and make sure that I drink lots of liquids.

They left me after that to let me rest. My meals were brought to me but I had no appetite to eat and left it to drink what ever there was but even that my stomach soon revolted. I resolved to put nothing there until it can handle a scrawny meal. Meanwhile, I just continued forcing my self to sleep but in vain. I had been sleeping the whole day. Yet I was not strong enough to go down stairs. The soul is willing but the flesh is not at all agreeing with it.

As much as my body was tired, my mind was racing. Ideas would flow into each other with such pace I could not keep track of them. I was drowning in all kinds of thoughts, my grades, my college, my friends, annoying Mickey, pigs, my grandfather’s farm, the puppies, the soft cuddly things were almost as cute as Spots.

Spots must be very old by now. Where was it by now? If it took the right airplane it could be anywhere exotic and magical. She might have married a beautiful Persian like Snow Ball and had little kittens scurrying around her as she did when she was a kitten and scratch the door to have someone to play with. Would they make noisy sounds like the one I am hearing out side my window? It is like someone is climbing to get to it. As if reading my thoughts, the windows flew open and I knew that I had crossed the line of sanity for I was not afraid.

It was all too clear! I was delirious, a side effect from my fever. I have always wondered how it would feel to be hallucinating. And since it was not real I am not going to waste my time by being scared! I was eager to see who I imagined coming into my window. Of course I was imaging. Who would want to come to me the hard way when they can easily use the door? Only one person has the bad reputation of coming into houses in the most inadequate behavior, Santa Clause.

A smile played on my lips as I watched the silhouette of my imaginary guest. My smile froze as I realized that who ever I was imagining was too young and slender to be Santa. Whoever it will be, I was not going to spoil a good hallucination over to some irrational fear of nothing.

-“ You’re too thin to be Santa Clause.” I commented.

-“ Suzie, I heard you were sick. How are you feeling?” Justin’s voice answered me. His voice was real enough to make me straighten in my bed.

-“ I’m ok.” I replied automatically half believing that he was actually there.

-“ That’s good.” He stumbled over a chair and cursed under his breath. “Where is the light switch?” his question brought me back to reality.

-“ No! Don’t turn on the lights! I look awful!” I retorted. I could swear that even in the dimness of the room his eyes twinkled.

-“ Yes, good idea. It’s better not to turn into stone, Medusa.” He chuckled while he felt his way to my bed and sat on the edge of it. I was nervous. Never in my life had I got boys in my room and no matter what I would not let them in after midnight. Yet, here I was having Justin sitting on my bed with the lights off.

-“ So, Santa what did you bring Medusa?” I joked as I always do when I’m worried and nervous, not that he would do anything to me but it was very questionable to why I have a guy in my room so late at night. Did he think that I was used to night visitors coming to me from the window?

-“ I might not be Santa but I did bring you something.”

-“ Elixir of life to cure me?” I joked.

-“ Nope. M&M’s. Hope you like yellow.” I heard the rustle of the plastic bag being pulled from his pocket and placed on a near table while he continued. “ Did you see a doctor?”

-“ Yes.” I grimaced at the memory.

-“ What did he give you?” he asked with interest. After all, this was his major.

-“ On the table.” I nodded towards it even though it was too dark for him to see. He grabbed the bottle and I heard him sniff it.

-“ No need to read its name. I remember it. It tastes dreadful but it works miracles. Pedro was very sick last winter and he took this and was in shipshape within a day.” He stopped as he sensed something. “ Suzie how is your fever?”

-“ I’m ok.” I reassured him.

-“ Let me see.” He insisted and extended his hand to touch my forehead.

-“ No! Don’t come any nearer. I stink.” I jerked away. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them. He was sure to be offended by them. Instead, he laughed.

-“ Is that it? No I look awful! No I stink!” he mimicked. “For your information, I have seen pigs more attractive than some of my friends and smelled better too for that matter. Now are you going to let me or not?” he demanded. I sighed in regression. I did not need to say more. He knew how I hated to lose and skipped the part were I surrender to him verbally.

-“ Your fever is going to get worse before it ends. Don’t tire your self and drink a lot of liquids,” he observed. His hand felt cool against my forehead.

-“ I can’t believe this! Deja Vu with the doctor all over again.” I mocked.

-“ Do you think I make a good doctor?” he asked.

-“ Yes considering that you didn’t…” I halted my self. He did not need to know more of this.

-“ I didn’t what?”

-“ Didn’t get paid.” I finished my sentence.

-“ Oh don’t be so sure.” He said smugly. Before I questioned him further about what he meant, something was thrown from the open window. He went and looked out and seemed listening for something but for the life of me I had not heard anything. Then, he raised his hand in a signal and came back to me.

-“ That was Abby. She chaperoned me here. I have five minutes before she calls the police.” He joked.

-“ Abby? What’s going on? Why didn’t she come with you?” I fired at him.

-“ Ah… well, Abby is afraid of heights and I don’t think that your tree can carry her.” He stumbled over his words.

-“ And what is going on? Why don’t you use the door?” I was getting tired and couldn’t be tactful or polite. He came back and I felt my bed being compressed under him as he sat down.

-“ I better start from the beginning.” He answered.

-“ A good place to start from.” I retorted.

-“ My mother visited yours today and heard of your illness. She told us about it, Abby and me. So, we decided to visit you and we did but your mom took one look at me and told us that you were asleep.” I nodded. Even my eager mom would not let a young man into my room. Dad would not like that at all, too. Yet here I was with him in my room alone.

-“ I WAS asleep.” I assured him, which was the truth.

-“ Yes, well, I told Abby that it was my fault that we didn’t complete our mission and that if you were really dying that I would climb to your room and come to you through your window. Abby bet that I could not. I asked her how much she would she bet and said ten bucks. So, here I am.” He smiled with his teeth sparkled.

-“ And here I thought you were playing Romeo again.” I giggled. “ So, that is your payment Dr. Romeo Santa Claus?”

-“ Yep! Easy money if you asked me. I got money to go to a maiden’s chamber and check her out.”

-“ And found Medusa.” I agreed.

-“ I found a sickly angel.” He said calmly. “ I get to go now. My time is up.” He moved to the window but as in a last thought he asked “ where you afraid when I first came in?”

-“ No.” I answered him frankly.

-“ Why?” he wondered still standing next to the window.

-“ I thought you were Santa Claus.” I responded and he laughed thinking that I was kidding.

-“ Take care, Suzie.” He answered me from out side my window. I dragged my feet to close it after him. Through the pale moonlight, I saw him get down to meet Abby who clung to him. He put his arm around her shoulder protectively then they faded in the darkness.

So, Suzie, he did not come for you. He came to prove himself in front of his sister and the ten bucks were added bonus. What did you think? He was madly in love with you; he dropped by to see you from the window? Grow up! As good as he is, he won’t even consider putting you in his hundred-name list candidate for a girlfriend! And even if he told you that he loves you, you would have turned him face down flat!

But the idea pleased me, I retorted. Heading for my adjoined bathroom to put some cool water on my burning face. My steps were slow and shaky. I didn’t think that my short trip to the window would tire me this much.

I opened the faucet and felt the cold water caress my warm hand. I brought a handful of it to my face. It felt heavenly against my feverish face. I held the wall to balance my self from a dizziness that took over me. My head was too heavy to carry it. My legs gave way under me. The next thing I could think was how nice the bathroom’s cool tile felt against my cheek.

A bright light hit my sleepy eyes. I flinched, frowning until I got used to the light. I turned to look around but a groan of pain escaped me as I moved a sour muscle. Odd, this did not feel like my bed. My vision, foggy at first, cleared. This was not my room.

-“ How are you feeling, Suzie?” a hand rested on my forehead. I looked up to my mom and felt little again, a very difficult thing to feel when you’re taller than your own mother.

-“ I’m ok.” I finally answered.

-“ Are you sure?” she took off her hand. “The fever is gone.”

-“ I’m fine mom.” My throat felt very dry.

-“ Good now stop frowning. I don’t know where you and your sister got that habit.” She complained. “ I don’t frown and nor your father. Sara never did that.” Here we go again about Great Sara. I wanted to ask her why didn’t she include Sid but stopped myself. Sid frowning is nothing to what he usually dose. The thought that if there was a black sheep in my family, it was not I comforted me. But why was I in the living room?

A flash of an image wakened my weak memory. Something important happened yesterday. A picture of my bathroom jumped to my mind, a picture with a very unusual angle. I was looking up to the ceiling of the bathroom, from the floor! The idea finally sunk in my head.

-“ I fainted in my bathroom yesterday.” I whispered. The details of the event came back to me. I woke up after some time and dragged my self to my bed and sprawled on it, too weak to cover my self with the bed sheet for as hot my forehead was, I have felt cold.

-“ That’s why I brought you down here this morning when I checked on you. You were burning with fever and mumbling things about Santa Claus. I took the day off. The doctor had said that the fever was going to get worse before it broke and he was right. You were so hot I thought you were going to die. And when I talked to you, you would talk about a Dr. Romeo. I don’t know where you got your ideas. The doctor who saw you was Dr. Henry.”

Santa Claus? Romeo? Those names rang a bell. An image of Justin came to my mind and soon all what happened the night before rushed to me. I gasped at all the events but my mom mistook the reason for it.

-“ Yes! You were going to die! And all because of that stupid diet of yours! No doubt you ate nothing the last three days! If you wanted to have a diet why didn’t you ask Sara? You know she is more than willing to help you! And it’s her job to tell people what to eat so you would not have to be in this mess again.” She fired at me. I kept silent. Sara was my complete opposite.

She works as a Nutrition Expert in some hospital. She was good, smart and thin, not only that but it was her job to make other people thin, too.  Too bad, her own sister is fat. Every time I see her she looks at me as if measuring me to see what type of diet would work with me. I appreciate her concern but being fat was MY business. Doesn’t she know that I already know about my weight? You don’t see me telling her each time that her hair is black, do I?

-“ Suzie, I’m going to get the grocery. Can you manage with out me for half an hour?” she grabbed at her car keys.

-“ Yeah, sure.” I sat up and looked down at the couch trying to remember anything about how my mom got me down here. I must have broken her back. I heard the door slam as my mom went out. I looked at the wall clock. It was 5:13.

I stood up my hand still holding the couch for balance. I felt dizzy but the feeling passed away quickly. I felt better and headed to the kitchen. I was very thirsty. Where was every body? The house was very quiet. Not even the TV was on.

I drank a couple of glasses of water until I felt nauseated. But, darn it, the water felt good. I felt as if my awn body was coming back to life. Now, my need had been fulfilled. I heard a faint sound, a video game. I started for Sid’s room but before I entered I heard another voice, a girl’s voice. I opened the door silently and looked at them.

Sid was swearing and the girl answered in triumphant laugh as a character figure on the screen exploded with lots of green blood. I could not see the face of the girl but she looked cute with her hair pulled into two pigtails. As she half turn I recognized her, Abby.

-“ Sucker!” she giggled.

-“ Beginners luck!” my brother answered angrily.

-“ Ha! I CAN beat you in anything!” Abby replied smugly. I closed the door quietly. Even if a nuclear bomb exploded, they would think, cool special effects! Also, the phone started ringing. One thing you can fully depend on, no mater what, Sid will NEVER answer a phone. I hurried my pace to get to the phone before it stopped.  It is probably mom asking whether we need something or not.

-“ The Micheals residence, hello?” I answered out of breath.

-“ Suzie! You will never guess what happened!” my sister Sara shouted at me.

-“ Yes we missed you, too.” I mocked.

-“ I got engaged!” she ignored me. My mouth fell open.

-“ What!” was this a joke? Just yesterday we were playing Barbie.

-“ I got ENGAGED!” She laughed. I blinked at the wall searching my weak memory for the appropriate thing to say.

-“ Congratulations, Sara.” I answered still in shock.

-“ Oh Suzie! I’m so happy! I needed to tell someone!” I could feel the ecstasy in her voice. But what does she mean by needing to tell someone?

-“ Surely, you plan to tell mom and dad!” I was surprised.

-“ No, me and Roby agreed to not tell our parents till after we get married on Christmas.” She answered confidently.

-“ Roby?”

-“ Yes, Roby Sabbata my fiancé! Didn’t I tell you? He is the doctor who works in my hospital. I told you about him. You must remember him! The one who fell of the stairs and broke his leg…” she answered enthusiastically.

-“ Yes, yes I remember that.” I stopped her. “ But mom and dad…”

-“NO ONE!” she cut me off. “ Promise me you wont tell any one!” I sighed.

-“ Cross my heart and hope to die. Scout’s honor.” I promised.

-“ You never were a scout.” She joked.

-“ Not my fault, dad never agreed to.” I smiled.

-“ I’m glad you answered. I was going to tell the first one who answered even if it was the wrong number.” She laughed. She really was in a good mood. Who ever Roby was, he was doing a hell of a good job.

-“ Yeah me, too. I can’t believe you’re getting married.”

-“ Me, too. I’m so excited!”

-“ I hope Roby feels the same way.” I teased.

-“ You’re saying that ‘cause you’re jealous.” She teased back.

-“ You caught me! I have always wanted to marry a doctor who would work all day long and he would leave me in the middle of the night for some guy who took an overdose of drugs. Yes, I confess, I am jealous.” I acted as guilty as I could.

-“ Oh stop it! Or do you want me to break up with him.” She giggled.

-“ No, no, no! Doctors are very great men and sexy too…” I retorted.

-“ And how have you been? And every one?” she cut me off again.

-“ We’re fine.” I said lightly. After all, why should I spoil her fun by telling her I almost died while she was saying yes?

Perhaps I am jealous, I told my self, as I looked at the blank TV screen. I did not believe in love and hence cannot love anyone but I would like to have some one think that he loves me before I die. Was it so hard to love me? I never even had a proper kiss yet. Girls my age…

I cut my self off. You are pathetic! You sound more like your mom! Girls your age this and girls your age that! Girls your age are getting high using drugs! Girls your age are scrubbing floors to afford their night drinks. Girls your age are getting illegitimate children! That is what girls your age are doing. And you are worried because some silly guy didn’t kiss you! Listen sister. You are better off this stuff! Look at how wonderfully you’ve done with your studies. Look how great your friends are. Look how much you enjoy everything. So what if you die without some bozo ever kissed you?

Nothing, I answered half-heartedly. I heard a door unlock and quickly reached for the remote control and turned on the TV. I don’t need my mom questioning me. Sure, I’m used to lying to her but I hated to do it.

The rustle of bags came nearer. I looked up at my mom and smiled innocently. She sat beside me putting her load on the table in front of us. Gracefully, she extracted a magazine. She opened it on a certain page then passed it to me. I looked at it and sighed.

-“ You’ll like this diet…” my mom started. Yep. Things are back to normal.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my dripping hair. I quickly put on one of my favorite baggy clothes. My body was not one of my major concerns. I cannot even recall how it developed. One winter I was flat and the next summer my blouses stretched to contain my bosom. How embraced I felt about it. I started wearing shapeless clothes that summer. I soon overcame my embarrassment but I liked the feeling of loose materials barely clinging to me and so kept on wearing them.

I escaped the bathroom with a cloud of vapor. Man, I felt fresh! With lazy hands, I slowly began to rub the towel around my hair to dry it. I dropped the towel and took my brush. Combing it slowly, starting from the lower parts then going higher up. When I was little, it used to reach my spine and had hell of time every day as my mom combed it for school. Now, thankfully, it reaches a little under my shoulders. And I only wear it in a ponytail. It has a natural curl so it looks nice if I left it to dry freely but who needs to have hair in her eyes?

With swift moves I gathered my hair and pulled it into a ponytail. Smiling at my image, I shook my head to see the shock of hair swaying behind me and giggled at my childish act. I looked at the clock. It was 8:23. It was about the time Justin and I would meet.

I went down rushing when a thought stopped me. Why don’t I change into something nice? I rejected the idea quickly. I better go wearing these clothes to remind me of my position. Justin was a good friend and I don’t intend to spoil this by wasting time trying to win him. Even if he loved me, his love would fade in about two years but if he is my friend he will be that forever!

I continued my way down as casually as I could fake. Mom would not understand what is between Justin and me. She would probably go to him and ask him to take me out on a date or something. I brushed a fallen strand of hair that got lose from my tight rubber band behind my ear.

I got out of the gate and looked at the Elroy’s garage where Justin lay under his car. I went and stood over him.  His body half under the car. He didn’t feel me coming. My dad always wondered at how silent I moved about. Smirking, I bent down and started tickling him. He was a ticklish person and started laughing straight away.

-“Oh stop! STOP!” he managed to say between his laughter.

-“ Beg me, Santa.” I blackmailed him still tickling him. As soon as I spoke, he grabbed my hands and pulled him self out.

-“ Suzie! You’re ok!” he was shocked. I, on the other hand, enjoyed him holding my hands in his greasy ones. Weird, I never liked anyone to touch me before.

-“ Surprise!” I managed to shake off the annoying sensation and pulled my hands back, a gesture that did not escape him.

-“ Uh, sorry. I was fixing the car…” he wiped his hands in a dirty rag. “You should not be here! Your mom called mine this morning saying that you were on the verge of death! You should be resting!” he fired at me. I just blinked at him. He looked at me closer. “And why are you out right after a shower! You could catch your death! And that was not too far from happening!” why is he angry! I did not answer him. I always say things I regret when I am angry. He looked at me for a moment then sighed.

-“ Suzie… I did not mean to snap at you like that. I was worried.” He apologized.

-“ No, I wont forgive you.” I started looking into his surprised eyes. “You must pay your way out of this. At the moment, I feel like eating hot dogs.” I teased.

-“ It’ll be my pleasure, ma’am.” He replied with a little smirk beginning to form on the side of his mouth.

-“ Mine, too. I feel like I didn’t eat for ages!” I smirked back at him.

-“ Ok, give me a minute to change into clean clothes. Here,” he pointed at small sink. “Wash your hand there. I wont be long.” I nodded and watched him walk away.

I was going to look away when he passed the front gate and entered a side door for a shack attached to the house. I didn’t understand this. Did he keep his clothes in a shack? I washed my hands still thinking of that. Why would any one keep his clothes in a shack if he lived in a house? As he said, he finished quickly and soon joined me.

-“ So where do you want your hotdogs from?” he asked.

-“ There is a stand that sells hotdogs in the park…” I started.

-“ You love that park don’t you?” he cut me off. I nodded and we walked to my favorite place.

-“ so how come you keep your clothes in that shack?” I nibbled on my hot dog, not sure if my stomach would revolt it or not. He looked at me confused for a second then laughed.

-“ That’s not a shack. It’s the entrance to the basement. I live there.” He answered as a matter of fact.

-“ Must be great to have all that space for your own.” I have found out how really hungry I was and began to take bigger bites.

-“ Yes, it gives me privacy.” Privacy to do what, I wondered.

-“ Are you sure you don’t want one of these hotdogs? They are delicious.” I changed the subject.

-“ I’m not hungry. I’ll eat later.” He dismissed the subject.

-“ Suit your self. If I had been working that long on a car I’d be hungry. By the way, what’s wrong with your car?” I finished my hot dog and licked a finger smeared with catsup. He leaned back on the tree and began relating what was wrong with his car and what did personally added to it to enhance it. All in all, by the time he finished I had eliminated the remaining hotdogs and admiring his knowledge of cars.

-“ And you have been working on it all afternoon till now?” I asked him.

-“ Yeah I was finishing when you came.” He nodded.

-“ Aren’t you tired?” I leaned back at the tree beside him.

-“ Not at all. But I do feel thirsty. I’ll go buy me something to drink. Would you like some?” he stood up.

-“ Yes, you know what I like.” I smiled gratefully. He nodded and strolled away. I watched him disappear between the branches from my special place in the park.

The weather was very nice. It was a cool summer night with pretty stars shining in the sky. I lay on the ground and entertained my self by looking at the starts through the tree branches. This was very relaxing. I put my bag under my head as a sort of a pillow. I did not plan on what happened next but apparently the combination of a full stomach and being in a recuperation state resulted in me dozing off.

I snuggled against the soft warm pillow and something fell around my waist. As I regained conciseness, I heard and felt another rhythm of breathing. Slowly, I opened my eyes but it was too dark. I closed my eyes again to continue sleeping when I had a weird sense of something quite wrong.

I blinked at the darkness, forcing my eyes to adjust. The first thing I saw was Justin’s gray jacket that was covering me. Then, I felt his arm that was around my waist move slightly. I was shocked at the result of my observations. Justin was asleep next to me with his hand around me! Oh my!

-“ Justin, wake up!” I nudged him a little. But he tightened his grip around me and rolled so I was half under him. I was simply frantic. For a while, I was paralyzed. I expected him to move further but he did not. After I calmed, I discovered that he was still asleep and did not know what he was doing. I forced my self to think, not an easy task if you had someone sleeping over you. Yet, he was not heavy but then again he was, a mix of heaviness and lightness I never felt before.

For a second I allowed my self to enjoy this stolen pleasure. I did NOT love him so there was no risk, I convinced my self. I looked at his sleeping face and could not believe he did this on purpose. He must be used to doing this to his old girl friend and unconsciously did this with me. I knew he doesn’t have one now for he did not spend lots of time outside his home, nor did any girl visit him.

I shifted a little to look around to see if any one had taken notice of our intimate position. Having made sure that no one took notice of us I looked back at him to be faced with his intense gaze. I tried to talk but did not know what to say and he kept looking at me in a way that made my skin melt.

His face got nearer to mine. I did not like to admit it but I wanted him to kiss me. As he got closer to me, I thanked God for giving me this opportunity. We can later blame it on being sleepy and no harm would be done. Just as I expected our lips to meet, he backed away. I looked at him startled.

-“ We better stop before people begin to think that I’m your boyfriend.” He muttered. I could feel my face glowing from my embarrassment. I cursed my self for letting things go this far. Yet, if time repeated it self I would do the same to say at least that I tried. I looked at him and knew that I would try again.

-“ I don’t mind that.” I answered him feeling how my voice trembled over the words.

-“ You don’t mind me being your boyfriend or you don’t mind people thinking it?” he joked to lighten up. Like me, he resolved to make jokes when he is nervous.

-“ Both.” I smiled as I walked to him to give him back his jacket. “I’m sorry, I dozed off a little.” I did not want to embarrass either of us by pressing this too hard. “ Why didn’t you wake me? I’m a light sleeper.”

-“ I didn’t have the heart to wake you. Don’t forget that you were very sick this morning.” He reminded me. “What time is it?”

-“ About ten.” I looked at my watch. “ It’s 10:19.” A strand of hair fell across my face. I pushed it behind my ear. “ Come on. I must go home.” I started walking and waited for him to fallow me, which he did. I did not want him to say that he was sorry for whatever happened there.

As we reached the street, I stopped by a car to straiten my hair in its side mirror. I pulled out the rubber band in a vain try to rearrange it.

-“ Your hair looks nice when you let it down.” He commented.

-“ Are you kidding? It’s all ruffled up! I can’t even comb it.” I smiled at him.

-“ Then don’t.” he took the rubber band and offered me his arm to take, which I took nonchalantly. For some reason, I found myself leaving it down more often than pulling it back with any rubber band.

NEXT

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