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Title
: Justin’s New
Life Plan Type
: Microsoft Word
Document Size
: #### KB Author :
J. R. Elroy
NEW
ENTRY:
That’s it! I had it! I’m
going to choose my life! No more Mr. Nice-Guy! I will not care what people might
think; it is MY life! Why
should others plan my marriage? Why should I obey them? Even if they were my
parents! That doesn’t give them permission to do what they did! I’m
going to tell them! I wont be controlled like this! I will… today… in fact!
Right now. NEW
ENTRY:
I
couldn’t tell them! I
tried but I couldn’t! I
admit it seems like the reasonable thing to do… I
mean, I’ve got to keep the family business going… and Francisca isn’t that
bad… but I want to live my life… However,
I feel guilty about her… She has a teenager crush on me BUT she is too young
to be held responsible… On
the other hand, My father has been very tactful about how I’m taking all of
this… he knew that since I was boss-to-be of all the business whether I liked
it or not; he let me study whatever I want… perhaps he is compromising… I
feel so caged up! How much I’d like to be like Al. He does whatever he wants
and goes with whomever he likes wherever he wish! You’d think that somebody of
my position would at least choose the one he’d spend the rest of his life
with. Is
that asking too much? If I
were going to be imprisoned in an already fixed confine, I’d rather live my
life until then. I’m
going to have a girlfriend… And
that is avowed resolution! I
wont allow a past failure to hold me back from enjoying my life… you’ll see! NEW
ENTRY:
I had a look around but I
wasn’t interested in any body. Not that there weren’t any pretty face but
they are all so… so different from me. They
talk about things I don’t care for and I’m sure they think that I’m little
eccentric and weird. I
suppose I’m the problem. But
I wont give up so easily… there is still the prom… I
may yet have a chance… NEW
ENTRY:
Why
her? I
could see that question in her eyes flashing with vivid colors of distress! She
stood there gazing at me as if she had all answers to every question but that
one. “Why her?” Oh
how much I wanted to answer that: why anyone else? Why NOT her? I
was under one of my eccentric moods. I was flirting with someone I don’t even
know… but I was enjoying it… I liked her confused look at the many lines of
poetry I poured upon her… I
liked her response too… Then
I knew… She
could understand me… Too
bad, I already made her angry… Oh,
God! I so suck at this! She
went away after an intense argument, that I let her win. What caught my
attention was how her hand trembled as she extended it to open the door for her
dramatic exit. She was not used to showing her fear… she is –if I may have
the right to judge- obsessed with being in control over her inner conflicts…
little does she realize that her face is as readable as any open book. Luck
did not leave me that night; I caught her going to her car. At that time, she
was different from that girl I met earlier, yet she was also the same… She
must have misplaced her confidence and her little snobbish tone. She almost
looked guilty. I
decided to try fixing what I have done earlier and I think I was just succeeding
when she suddenly launched a severe crusade to rescue a friend of hers. She
looked like she could kill… a thing that is very cute with a face such as
hers. Especially, with her Angelic costume. I had a vision on how news headlines
would be: ANGEL
OUT TO SAVE VIRGINITY KILLS A DRUNKEN SAILOR OR A GIRL SAVED FROM RAPE BY A KILLER ANGEL
I
decided I’d help solve this matter more civilly. Nevertheless, I could not get
her to give me her name. Weird, huh? Imagine that. In the twenty-first century
and still there are some people who can’t lie about simple things such as
names… All
in all, I met no other people who sparked some interest in me other than her…
and I don’t think that I will be meeting her again… although she certainly
looks familiar. NEW
ENTRY:
I
MET ANGEL AGAIN! INCREDIBLE!
SHE
MUST LIVE IN THE SAME NIEGHBORHOOD AS I DO! Now
I understand her fretting about her name… She
was still as saucy as yesterday; I also sensed that she was troubled but she
seemed in better mood. Its rare to see people who are cheerful in the morning…
her boyfriend must be really lucky… It
must be my imagination but she seemed prettier in daylight… she was not what
other people thought as attractive but to me she looked… I know I shouldn’t
be thinking of her like that but she was more than easy to the eye –at least
for me. I have always liked chubbiness in a girl… I
wonder if she really has a boyfriend. If she did, then why didn’t he go with
her to the prom? She also seems a little awkward around me but I guess that’s
just wishful thinking of me. Ok…
are you ready for the next surprise? I
met her AGAIN! Yep!
After college… Well, ok. Ok. So, I followed her!
You
can’t blame me… I’m not used to meeting people like her… people who
others nominated to be my Cute Couple! I’m still recovering from
that shock. I never won such prizes… But
the awful thing was that I caught her in a private moment. Angel was crying so
bitterly. It broke my heart to see a grown girl crying like that… Even
when she cried she wasn’t like anyone else… she wept and wept then she
forgot all about it and started singing or humming I’m not sure but she seemed
to follow a rhythm of some kind… If I
didn’t like her, I’d thought her to be weird… but now… I’m not
positive but she seemed to be soothing herself. After
I gave her sometime to recollect herself, I made my presence known.
Nevertheless, she was not pleased by me invading- what I concluded to be -her
territory. Especially, when she had her defenses down. Like
me, she didn’t want the identity of the Cute Couple to be publicly known… Her
name remains a mystery… NEW
ENTRY:
Suzie
Michles! Her
name is Suzie Michles! Isn’t
it a lovely name? I
told her so my self and she blushed. Bless
her heart. She
is a friend of Amy, an old acquaintance. It was sheer luck that brought us
together again. Mickey-Marvin is an enthusiastic colleague and we were marveling
at an important development of science when Amy walked in and introduced my shy
Angel. She
pretended that she never saw me before so I returned her curtsy. I could see
plead in her eyes… eyes that I had to remind my self that they weren’t pools
nor was I sinking in their depth. I
had no trouble guessing her father’s name. I had heard enough about it from my
mother… So,
Miss Suzie, you thought you could escape me? NEW
ENTRY:
Warning:
Miss Angel is easily scared. Warning:
Ms Angel has an over active imagination. Warning:
Angel might actually be what I’m looking for. Warning:
she is very easy to be loved. Warning:
She brings me little pleasures I have almost forgotten they exist. Warning:
She’s wonderful and she doesn’t even know it. Warning:
I might actually lose control over this situation! Warning:
Miss Angel doesn’t have trouble accepting me. Warning:
Angel is not attached to anyone! Warning:
She agreed to a Simi-date, that’s a good step foreword to… Warning:
destination is no longer clear. Warning:
Priority error has occurred. Warning:
logic database no longer functions. NEW
ENTRY:
I
took her to the movies but I tell you, this girl never stops amazing me. It’s
like she is a box inside a box inside a box… so many layers! She
loves cats! She found Pedro’s and I told her she could name it and that seemed
to please her a lot! I didn’t think that Pedro would use the same name she
suggested but he did. This
was not the final surprise. She is more like me than what I
imagined; she’s Spanish, too. Not that it would make a big difference but I
felt more relaxed with her though her descendants are totally from a different
region. Third
surprise, she actually likes cartoons. I thought that she said that earlier to
put me off. Not that it’s a bad thing but it does explain some things about
her persona. Till
now I cant find a real negative defect in her but real Angels don’t exist. So
my Angel, what’s your flaw? NEW
ENTRY:
I
have been observing her… She
likes to stand by her window a lot… But
I couldn’t find a way to talk to her again. Though we go to the same college I
rarely see her there and if I did, she’d be with her friends, a strange group
with all kinds of girls. With them, she is always smiling or laughing. As a
result, I couldn’t bring myself and detach her from them. I
had formed a plan with Pedro and Abby. We were going to make her invite us to
some ice cream. We used the old bad-guy/ good-guy trick, me being the seemingly
victim. And we pulled it off quite nicely. However,
as it turned out she had to work a part time job to cover her expenses. I most
of all felt bad about us abusing what little money we had and I knew she
wouldn’t accept us returning the money. So,
I had to make up for that but my little knowledge about girls wasn’t that good
and Abby helped. A single rose, she told me when I thought of buying her
flowers, is always more romantic at the beginning. What a world! I’m learning
from my little sister! What
a world! NEW
ENTRY:
Exams
were killing me! One more day and I might have popped! Thank God for vacations! All
in all, I’m proud that I haven’t bothered her much, though I had wanted to
but self-discipline is a major factor in me when it comes to her. I don’t want
to move too quickly for her. She doesn’t seem to know much about the real
world: A sheltered flower, too pretty, too fragile to be touched. And
speaking about fragility, My Angel got sick… I have no information how sick
she is but I hope it’s nothing serious. She must have exhausted her-self with
studying, the poor dear. NEW
ENTRY:
She
is very sick… I
don’t know what to do? I
heard her mother telling mine how ill she is. I
can’t stay like this; I must see her. NEW
ENTRY:
I
managed to get Abby interested and we went to visit her but Mrs. Micheals
wasn’t very excited to showing her daughter to us, to me. Funny, isn’t it? I
thought she’d welcome us but I guess… I guess I had to literary beat around
the bush to get to see her. You
see; I had to climb that tall tree to get to her bedroom’s window. Abby was
pretending to be convinced that I was doing it for a dare, bless her heart. I guess she was semi-awake… odd
thing was she wasn’t afraid or surprise to see me dropping by from her window,
perhaps a side effect of her medication but she was as stubborn as ever. Yet, I
had to know more. I took her temperature and checked her medicine. She had a
fever and presumed from her drug that her case was similar to the one Pedro went
through, a dangerous condition nonetheless. Away
from her being sick, I was in her room. IN HER ROOM! I don’t want to sound
like a snob but that must count for something! She must like me enough not to
shout for her mother to show me to the door. But my poor carina must have
been too weak to do that… I hope she’d be alright… she can’t die… not Muerte…
not
now… Por
favor! NEW
ENTRY:
She
had taken a serious lapse in her recovery… I
heard her mother crying on the phone as she talked to mine… God!
How much I wanted to go to her but I couldn’t and spent my time fixing my car.
While I worked on my car, I kept thinking of her… so young… she was very
healthy when I first met her… what went wrong? And
Pedro kept questioning me, all of which made me very frustrated. I don’t know
what I told him but I think I was very mean to him. And this car is getting on
my nerves, too! I’ll
work on her tomorrow… right now… I don’t know but I need to get out of
here! NEW
ENTRY:
You’ll
never believe what almost took place! You
wont guess it! Never! I Almost . . . . Kissed
her! Yep!
I dosed beside her, too! I
can’t believe it myself! One
minute I was worried she’d die on me, the next she was tickling me and asking
me out… well sorta… Whatever,
I think she was still tired when she slept at the park and I couldn’t bring my
self to wake her. I just looked at her. She doesn’t usually let me look at her
directly… she’d either look away or distract me… Looking
at her was like looking at a child sleeping… dreaming… she mumbled something
then smiled. That smile… I didn’t notice before but I was holding my breath
and when she smiled in her dream I finally relaxed… it was over… she was
back again. I
didn’t mean it to happen but I dosed, too. I
know, no one will believe it but it was an honest mistake! Really! And stop
smiling, please. I didn’t mean to pull her closer to me! My arm moved on its
own accord! She felt right, that’s true but that doesn’t justify my
disgraceful act of sleep. Boy,
she looked terrified! And it hit me!!! She
was still a virgin! I
wanted to kiss her right then, right there. If only she didn’t look at me that
way… Then,
I finally realized what I was doing… and it was all wrong… she deserves
better than this… It
wasn’t that she didn’t desire the kiss… I could tell that part of her was
wanting… but the situation was wrong! How could any one sleep with some one
else THEN kiss that person?? And
if we kissed things will grow awkward! We aren’t prepared yet… the kiss can
wait… And
I know she’s mine… some how… I know… NEW
ENTRY:
It’s
very hard to keep my distance from her sometimes… when someone touches your
soul, you feel a great desire to touch that person back… but somehow my hands
take command and the next thing I’ll find that they take hold of hers…
however, that never bothered me because it seemed to please her though she
blushes slightly at the contact… Nevertheless,
things could get rather out of hands or, in my case, in them; like the time when
I hugged her as she surprised me with her deep understanding of me… Do
you know this warm feeling in your chest when your special one smiles? Have you
ever felt freed just because she looked at you playfully? Did you ever wonder if
she felt the same? Have
you ever wondered if she even felt you? NEW
ENTRY:
How
could one person do that? How
can words be suddenly extra sweet if they came from her lips? How can she say
the same thing over and over and still keep me fascinated? How can she do that? Did
she realize how eager I was to be with her? Did she think me silly when I rush
to her and help her with little things? Did she notice how focus I get whenever
she opened her mouth? Why
was she always repeating her friends in front of me? What was her point? Was she
bragging about them? But if she was, then how come a look of suffering always
crosses her face whenever she mentions them? I, at some point, thought that she
had a fight with them. But I have seen her with them and they looked to be very
chummy with each other… Why
does she rarely mention her family? I just discovered that she has an older
sister… one thing was sure though… she didn’t like her to get
‘personal’ with her boyfriend or fiancé or whoever he was… Why
was she so upset to see her kissing? Does she have something against such act?
If she did I’m glad I didn’t kiss her! Imagine if she went furious and never
talked to me again! This
is one girl that is full of mysteries… Yet,
she is the dearest person to me in this world… NEW
ENTRY:
And
the mystery is revealed! My
poor carina! And
she kept this to herself all that time… She
might think that she is a coward but to me she’s the bravest little girl in
the whole wide world! I
can’t express my joy to have her trust me to the limit of crying in my
presence, showing me her weakness, asking for comfort. At that moment I felt
like going against the world to protect her. However,
I didn’t know what to do to her… I so much wanted to hug her and tell her
that everything would be fine but I was afraid that she’d misunderstand my
motives and I wouldn’t blame her! Having gone through what she did, it’s a
miracle that she doesn’t hate men… or does she? If I
thought that her being a virgin would make things somewhat difficult, then it is
next to impossible now! For God’s sake, she needs her mom permission to go out
on a date! But
I’m a stubborn man in my own right! And if I want something, I’ll have it!
Sooner or later, she’s mine. And if I couldn’t get her, I wont let her be
hurt again… NEW
ENTRY:
That
girl… that girl… We
danced today… and yes I don’t know how but we both managed it… Then
I took her home and she said the oddest thing! She
said that, “maybe she’ll make me marry her.” What
a strange thing to say! I wonder if she meant it… I
did say I loved her… a lot. But… marriage? This,
I need to think about… NEW
ENTRY:
I
think I overestimated her sentence… most probably; she was teasing and joking
only… she does that a lot… I
got to admit that part of my panic came from her linking me with marriage… -I
came to her to escape from that planned marriage my parents set for me…- and
not from actually marrying her… You
know what? I think she’s ready for me to tell her how I feel… it wont be
easy but I’ll just wait for an opportunity and… and… and hope that she
REALLY is ready… I’d hate her to laugh at me as if I said a silly joke…
she has a streak to make serious moments into funny things and laugh them out…
perhaps she’s avoiding real trouble… maybe she’ll… No,
I shouldn’t think like this… didn’t she say once when we almost kissed
that she wouldn’t mind me to be her boyfriend? Yes,
I’m sure she said that… she feels SOMETHING towards me… of that I’m
sure. I’ll
tell her… as soon as possible. NEW
ENTRY:
Now,
I really blew it! She
did not laugh… worse! Oh God! She
said NOTHING! NOTHING! And then she ran away… How
could I be so stupid! I thought that when she asked if I was her friend, she was
encouraging me but she was merely just asking! After what she gone through, she
must really doubt that I was sincere! I
should let her cool down and rethink what I said… maybe she was just
surprised… I’ll give her time… though my patience grows thin… NEW
ENTRY:
Al
kept calling me the whole day but I didn’t answer him… I was in no mood to
see any body… last night I just sat by the window and looked at hers… she
just sat there but I’m not sure if she was looking at my direction. Even if
she was, I doubt if she saw me, I had my lights off. Only
her shadow was clear and suddenly I remembered a song describing the exact
feeling I felt. Why?
Why? Why?
There
you are In
a darkened room And
you’re all alone Looking out the windowYour
heart is cold and lost the will to love Like
a broken arrow
Here
I stand in the shadows Come
to me, come to me can’t you see that… Nobody
wants to be lonely Nobody
wants to cry My
body is longing to hold you So
bad it hurts inside Something
special there is slipping away And
I’ll be waiting for you all of my life Nobody
wants to be lonely So
why, why Why
don’t you let me love you? Why?
Why? Why? But
for me, I know “why” she doesn’t allow me near her. She doesn’t want to
be hurt again… if only she knew! I’ll
talk to her again and MAKE her see! But wait… I see her leaving her house. I
know that look on her face… she has a plan of some sort… the look of loss
that was there has disappeared. She must have made up her mind. NEW
ENTRY:
She
loves me! Oh
thank god! And
more! She
was jealous! JEALOUS! That’s solid evidence! Don’t
worry; I didn’t get carried away in expressing my feelings. Oh no, a person is
only allowed to make a mistake once! And some times once is too much! This
is a delicate creation I’m dealing with… I sense her relaxing when I held
her still in my arms… this is a good sign if you ask me. I
can’t believe that she’s mine! I’m so happy! Lord how can three little
words change the universe! NEW
ENTRY:
She
disappeared! Just like that! Can you believe this! She
left leaving me clueless! What does she mean? Has she literary run away, with
her whole family? This doesn’t make any sense! Now,
what? What I’m I supposed to do, to understand? Has she backed away? Where did
her family go? Even Abby seems upset as well, though I have no clue as to why
she should care! One
advantage of arranged marriage is that you know exactly what to expect and what
is expected from you… but this! I’m lost and my situation never seemed so
bleak! NEW
ENTRY:
That’s
it! I’m going to break up with her –if she hadn’t done that already. I’m
not going to torture my self with a heartless girl with no respect to my
feelings… however, until she return from her little vacation, I’m not
going to think of her. Don’t look at me like that! I won’t means I wont!
Honest! Why would I waste my time while she probably forgot all about me! NEW
ENTRY:
She’s
back. Next
time I see her, I’ll tell her exactly what I felt. I’m
finished with being Mr. Nice Guy! NEW
ENTRY:
Heavens!
But such a simple explanation never occurred to me! I
have forgotten how much close she is to a child, so honest, so simple! You
know… the moment I saw her again, I realized I could never hurt her; I simply
loved her too much! But
she sure scared me when I heard her tell Pedro that we merely were friends. That
certainly ticked me off, too. I
have left her so that I’d think strait… finding her was no problem… I knew
her that much. It
might be my imagination but some how she feels softer now, more… more… more
loving, more transparent. NEW
ENTRY:
Every
thing is going silk smooth… but lately Mickey-Marvin has been telling me some
unsettling things… he tells me that Suzie has came between him and Amy
‘cause she loves him. And that she has spoken with him many times to make him
notice her and that Amy broke up with him because she thought that Suzie hated
him… I’m
certain that Suzie loves me but why would Mickey-Marvin tell me that since he
knows nothing about Suzie and me? And why does Suzie hate him?
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